Tuesday, November 5, 2013


Having a baby for the second time is a totally different experience from the first in every way. When I found out I was pregnant with Ruby, I went thrifting for cute baby clothes THE NEXT DAY. I found myself worrying about carseats, diaper rash, gender-neutral crib sheets, and all of the minor insignificant details of raising an infant before she had even formed her major organs.
This time around I have barely thought about about "getting ready."  I have a carseat and a boob. Done. :) Without having to contemplate transforming from a person to a parent for the first time, you can really just relax about the second one.

My life is already chaotic and kid-centric. I've already mourned all of my old indulgences and hedonistic time-sucking activities the first time I became a mommy. I already only eat at restaurants that have a fenced patio area. Whats the difference between having to pack snacks and toys to leave the house for one kid vs. two kids? Not much I imagine. It already takes like an hour to get out the door.

I already know he or she will eventually latch properly/stop sleeping in the carseat/take normal naps/poop the correct color/fill in the blank with your own parental woe. I'm hoping my relaxed 'tude about this baby will somehow transfer like osmosis into the amniotic fluid and create a nice peaceful, easy-going kid who doesn't give me any trouble and loves to sleep. It could happen!??
um this kid is hilarious. 
Recently at a prenatal yoga class, I found myself the only woman who was on her second baby. I looked around at all of the wide-eyed clueless mamas-to-be and casually asked the girl next to me (35 weeks) "Are you ready?" She proceeded to tell me that she thought the birth would go fine and she was planning to just stay relaxed, etc. The funny part is that I meant, "Are you ready for parenthood?"  It's interesting how the first time around you think the delivery is the part you are preparing for. You can't possibly fathom how your life is about to change--and no one can tell you.

As my house is already stocked with oodles of, blankets, toys, Jenny Jump-ups, Nursing pillows, and enough baby clothes to line up and surround the Earth, I've put together the dream registry for the SECOND-TIME mom. An ode to the wisened and weary veteran parent who doesn't give a rat's ass whether her crib-sheet matches her bumper--She knows what's really up.

1. YOGA CLASS PACKAGE. She had a kid. The kid sucked all of her energy and reshaped her body and she's spent the last few years de-prioritizing her own needs so that she could focus on keeping them alive and well. Then she had another kid and got older in the process. She needs some yoga right now--to center her mind, to remind her to breathe, to strengthen her core, and to get her out of the house for an hour if nothing else. Bonus points for offering to babysit and throwing in some yoga pants.
2. GIFT CERTIFICATES FOR CLOTHES. See details of Item #1. Chances are she's been living in ratty stretch pants and old t-shirts for 3 years or more. She could use some "real" clothes with actual waistbands again.
Wow, this image dates me
3. GOOD EYE CREAM, CONCEALER AND DRY SHAMPOO. A first-time mama might be insulted by such gifts, but not the second-timer. She knows that new baby means no sleep for days, weeks, possibly months on end and there's a pretty good chance she will end up showering every other day. Splurge and buy mama some good dry shampoo. I use the cheap Fructis crap right now and it works fine but smells like a junior high locker.
Spritz that skank right out of your hair
4. RESTAURANT GIFT CARDS. No matter how much mama loves to cook, she's now managing two little monsters and getting food down her own throat much less on the table in an organized way is a daunting feat. Get her some gift cards for places with great take-out. Make sure some of them offer healthy normal food. Nobody wants to eat pizza 5 nights a week. Even better..organize a potluck sign up to bring dinner one or two nights a week the first month.
Healthiest Take-out foods
5 SALON GIFT CARD. Pregnancy means prenatal vitamins made everything grow and color was out of the question. Blow drying is something you do when you're single in your twenties. Give her the chance to splurge on a great haircut or get a massage. Again, bonus points for watching the kids while she goes.
6. MAID SERVICE. Even a month would be wonderful. The tub, toilets, sinks, and floors thank you.
7. AMAZON PRIME. Free two day delivery on anything. She can order toothpaste, toilet paper, diapers, movies, and well ANYTHING and have it delivered in 48 hours. Dads will appreciate this one, too, as they are usually in charge of supplies and errands during the nursing blitz.

8. OFFERS TO BABYSIT. Genuine ones and follow up with dates.
These guys can handle it
9. WINE. Self-explanatory.

10. GIFTS FOR BIG SIBLING.  It's a hard time for them too! Suddenly they are not the center of the universe and have to wait for mom's attention. Bonus points for gifts that keep them busy for 20 minutes or more.


1 comment:

Sarah Greenman said...

Just brilliant. Totally totally brilliant.